Let’s Talk About It: How to last longer

Welcome to Let’s Talk About It, the column where we answer questions posed by our readers regarding sex, sexuality, gender and related topics, brought to you by the student-led organization Sexual Empowerment and Awareness at Tennessee (SEAT).

This week’s question is: As someone with a penis, what are some good tips on lasting longer during sex?

What is Premature Ejaculation?

“You know, in the wild west shooting faster was considered a good thing.” — Night at the Museum

According to theUrology Care Foundation, premature ejaculation is defined as “Ejaculation before a person with a penis or their partner would like during sex.” For context, the average time period until ejaculation is usually around five to ten minutes. Premature ejaculation, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is ejaculation before 59 seconds.

Everyone has their own level of sensitivity which corresponds to how quickly they may ejaculate. There is nothing medically or biologically wrong with premature ejaculation, so do not worry about being “broken” if you suffer from premature ejaculation. It is merely how you are!

However, this can cause issues in one’s sex life.

In this article I will address the multitude of solutions to this problem and ultimately help improve your sex life!

Training

There are a multitude of techniques out there to help improve one’s orgasm control. Let’s start out with the most popular one — edging.

Edging is the act of getting to the brink of orgasm then seizing all stimulation until one is back at their baseline. This can be done over a long period of time to help one identify when they are about to ejaculate and learn to slow down or stop completely before starting up again.

There is also a technique called the pause-squeeze technique, which is quite similar to edging that you can read abouthere.

The previous link also discusses pelvic floor exercises.

Every physical action in the body, including ejaculation, has muscles associated with it. Pelvic floor exercises target the muscles responsible for ejaculation and let you have more precise control over ejaculation.

Other exercises include kegels andreverse kegels. And here is another fantasticguide for kegels that has a special place in my heart. Andhere’s another piece of reading — this time, a scientific research paper on said exercises.

But like every good exercise, you always need to stretch in order to see maximum results. Effective stretches include yoga, groin stretches and — once again — the beautiful reverse kegel.

Keep in mind that you will probably not see results until two to three weeks into these routines, so don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results!

These exercises help intensify orgasms on their own and I think everyone who can do them should do them!

Toys!

For every sex problem out there, there always appears to be some toy that exists to help combat it.

Premature ejaculation is no exception. Available to us, we have the cock ring and vibrators.

Cock rings can be made of a variety of materials and can be used in a variety of places. It can be located between the shaft and balls, the balls and the scrotum, or on your finger as a fashion statement. The purpose of the cock ring is to restrict blood flow to the penis and prevent ejaculation.

For a more complete guide on cock rings, please lookhere before buying and using one!

The other toy mentioned is a vibrator. You may be thinking, “But aren’t those mainly used for clitoral stimulation?” And to that I say, “I don’t know, maybe.” However, we are not here to critique proper vibrator etiquette.

For us, we are merely placing the vibrator on our penis and letting the vibration do all the work. Our main goal here is to use it for edging by cutting the power off as we draw near ejaculation.

Numbing Agents

Say, we aren’t getting anywhere with our exercise routines that we have been trying out for weeks now and the toys aren’t much fun either. Let’s look at numbing agents!

These will numb the penis and hopefully cease this pesky overstimulation we are being hit with. Our sources of anesthesia includenumbing condoms andnumbing sprays.

Here’s a little article talking about numbing spray if that seems a bit dangerous or risky to you. You can also buy thicker condoms like the ones used for anal.

Medication

Fun fact, most porn stars use pills for their shoots, as the amount of time a porn shoot lasts is not realistic for mortal men to maintain an erection.

Medication is near the end of my list of suggestions, as I feel it isn’t the best long-term solution to this problem. However, many people find pills to be the fastest and easiest solution to premature ejaculation.

There are always the classic pills like Viagra and the more recent ones like the products offered byRoman.

Before using medication, though, please consult a doctor.

Luckily, Roman has online doctor visits you can use if you are too meek to talk about this face to face. I don’t know how effective online appointments are so, if you can, try booking a men’s health appointment at the student health center or another medical institution.

Roman also has a lot of other fantastic products out there so it wouldn’t hurt to check them out!

Substitute with Other Acts

It’s time to face the simplest solution to your premature ejaculation problems and arguably the one everyone should start off with: learn to pleasure your partner in other ways.

Go through a ‘70s montage where you improve your oral, handy or fingering skills.

There is no downside to learning these ancient skills that will leave any partner so pleased they don’t care you approached record speeds for fastest ejaculation.

There are a multitude of resources out there that you can study up on and be a better lover!

Do you have a question about sex, sexuality, or relationships? You can ask us to find you accurate and reliable information from experts by tweeting @SexWeekUT, direct messaging @Sexweekut on Facebook or submitting a question to ouranonymous Google form.

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