Polar Seltzer winter flavors 2020: Where do they rank among 60 best all-time flavors?

Polar Seltzer Winter limited edition 2020

The 2020 Polar Seltzer Winter limited edition flavors (Nick O'Malley, MassLive)

Lend me your ears, citizens! The grand scholars of the mythical realm of Worcester have heralded the coming of the season’s frost. The northern chill shall soon descend upon our fragile forms that still grasp for the last vestiges of warms from the summer.

There, across the mountaintop they ride -- the five horsebottles of the snowpocalypse.

The night shall be dark and full of bubbles; the Polar Seltzer 2020 winter flavors have arrived.

Polar Seltzer winter 2020 flavors

The new lineup of limited edition flavors is a pleasantly bright arrangement of colors and flavors concepts that will be great in taking our attention away from the looming 4 p.m. sunsets. Here’s the lineup:

  • Blackberry Citron
  • Concord Clementine
  • Ginger Peach (repeat)
  • Grapefruit Melon Kiss
  • Pomegranate Apple

Generally, new Polar flavors are fun and worth trying. But are they worth purchasing over your standby favorites? Let’s go flavor-by-flavor.

So how do they taste?

Here are the five seasonal flavors ranked worst to best:

5. Pomegranate Apple

I was excited about this flavor. I’m a fan of how both elements of it usually translate to seltzer. Too bad it was a big whiff.

Overall the taste is tart-on-tart with no bigger flavor to counterbalance it. There are light notes of apple and pomegranate. But neither of them really emerges as a flavor.

They just fizzily scream at you without leaning in either direction.

I like the idea, but the execution makes it the worst of the bunch.

4. Grapefruit Melon Kiss

This edition takes the normal strong punch of grapefruit and turns it in a much more mellow direction. The melon comes in with a spritely buzz, tickling with the slightly tart vibes of grapefruit. Then it all opens up with a dry coda of melon hanging out on the aftertaste.

This is the point where I admit that I usually don’t enjoy grapefruit flavors.

But just because it’s fourth here doesn’t mean it’s bad. I did like this one and ranked it 24 out of 60 all-time. That means either A) it’s exceptional or B) it’s a grapefruit flavor for people who don’t like grapefruit.

3. Ginger Peach

The ginger is light in this flavor. Instead, it opens with a rosy gesture of peach flavor that’s picked up on the back end by a bit of the tingly ness from the ginger.

The overall flavor focuses on the expression of the peach, getting this nice, dry rub of the fruit flavor out front. It’s lush, but light enough that it clears out for your next sip.

2. Concord Clementine

If you’re like me and didn’t look closely at the art on the label, you will figure out immediately upon drinking that, yes, “Concord” refers to the grape.

Yes, I’m a dummy. Yes, this is delicious.

Grape isn’t particularly common among Polar’s seltzer flavors, but it plays well here. It comes out with a dry tug of grape flavor that splits and opens the door for the citrus undertones. The aftertaste is a cool duality of the two flavors.

I wouldn’t normally combine orange and grape. But it works.

1. Blackberry Citron

This flavor is a really cool reminder of how seltzer can be great and satisfying even though the flavors are subtle.

The Blackberry Citron has remarkably clean profile. At first, it has this flavor that’s almost invisible, with only a shadow of clean, berry flavor slipping in and bewitching your palate with just a minute touch of tartnett.

This the best parts of blackberry and lemon, that lush berry flavor and the crystalline swipe of citrus. It’s the best of the bunch.

So where do they rank all-time?

A recurring problem for seltzer drinkers is the dilemma of standing in the grocery, store, looking at a cornucopia of flavors to choose from and being frozen by the sheer magnitude of choices.

Be frozen no longer, as I have now formulated my very unscientific and subjective rankings to above 50 flavors:

60. Blueberry Lemonade

59. Mango Cherry Bliss (Summer Seasonal)

58. Vanilla

57. Seltzer

**56. Pomegranate Apple (2020 Winter Seasonal)

55. Hibiscus Cloudberry (Winter Seasonal)

54. Blackberry Mango Punch

53. Minotaur Mayhem (Impossibly Good)

52. Lime

51. Strawberry Honeydew (Summer Seasonal)

50. Ruby Red Grapefruit

49. Mermaid Songs (Impossibly Good)

48. Raspberry Lime

47. Triple Berry

46. Strawberry Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

45. Cranberry Cider (Winter Seasonal)

44. Vanilla Zen

43. Blueberry Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

42. Blackberry Mango Punch (2020 Summer Seasonal)

41. Blood Orange Sangria

40. Yeti Mischief (Impossibly Good)

39. Strawberry Watermelon

38. Pomegranate

37. Raspberry Rosé (Summer Seasonal)

36. Be Mine (Valentine’s Day Edition)

35. Cranberry Clementine

34. Mango Limeade (Seltzer’ade)

33. Kiwi Pink Grapefruit (2020 Summer Seasonal)

32. Mandarin

31. Blackberry Clementine (Winter Seasonal)

30. Watermelon Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

29. Pixie Lights (Impossibly Good)

28. Pineapple Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

27. Cherry Pomegranate

26. Ginger Lime Mule

25. Berry Sweet Grapefruit

**24. Grapefruit Melon Kiss (2020 Winter Seasonal)

23. Toasted Coconut

22. Coconut Limeade

**21. Ginger Peach (Winter Seasonal, Repeat)

20. Tart Cherry Limeade (Seltzer’ade)

**19. Concord Clementine (2020 Winter Seasonal)

18. Black Cherry

17. Unicorn Kisses (Impossibly Good)

16. Georgia Peach

15. Pineapple Pomelo

14. Blood Orange Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

**13. Blackberry Citron (2020 Winter Seasonal)

12. Lemon

11. Blueberry Tangerine (Summer Seasonal)

10. Starfruit Lemonade

9. I’d Rather Drink Alone (Valentine’s Day Edition)

8. Strawberry Margarita (2020 Summer Seasonal)

7. Raspberry Pink Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)

6. Pink Lady Apple & Lemon

5. Orange Vanilla

4. Nectarine Lemon (Summer Seasonal)

3. Dragon Whispers (Impossibly Good)

2. Perfectly Plum Summer (2020 Summer Seasonal)

1. Cranberry Lime

The final word

Let’s make one thing clear: Most flavors are good. Once you get into the range between 10 and 50, the differences are thin, since the flavors in question are subtle and are separated by minor differences. As long as it’s in the top 50, I’d drink it. I’m generally a fan of most flavors.

Except for your favorite flavor. I clearly ranked it low because I have a personal vendetta against it.

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“I ate it so you don’t have to” is a regular food column looking at off-beat eats, both good and bad. It runs every other Thursday-ish at noon-ish.

You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com. Please send all criticisms and complaints about how bad my rankings are to our resident seltzerologist at mhanson@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here.

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